29th Aug 2014

(Source: natebynight)

29th Aug 2014

why the mother FUCK would you book your 4 children on a goddamned red eye flight and then GIVE THEM REDBULLS? this fucking family of 6 just rolled up with their kids literally screaming and throwing things at the gate and plugged in 7 fucking devices, taking up most of the outlets. 

just walking around being generally shitbag human beings. i am so 100% over this flight and i havenT EVEN BOARDED THE PLANE YET

28th Aug 2014

leaving in like 5 hours for the airport! taking a redeye back to ct via way of Boston (+a train to new London)

Best part is that no one knows! My mom is gonna LOSE HER SHIT. Imma video it

28th Aug 2014

seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

27th Aug 2014

dangerouspoetry:

american horror story: the police

27th Aug 2014
27th Aug 2014
homeboy, you do realize that I’m not Google, right?

homeboy, you do realize that I’m not Google, right?

27th Aug 2014

Anonymous said: And can you take it all?

😒

26th Aug 2014

Anonymous said: how big is the former porn star?

like 8.5

23rd Aug 2014

why does acting like you completely don’t give a shit work like 100% of the fucking time with guys? it’s like, the oldest trick in the book. it’s always like “hey, wanna hang tonight?” “oh idk i’m being lazy blah blahh” “k well let me know if you want company, i’m gonna go watch mad men” “oh well yeah, you should come over”

HOW DOES THAT TRICK STILL WORK? HOW? 

23rd Aug 2014
theycallmemos:

Get that fucking salad out of my face, Jessica

theycallmemos:

Get that fucking salad out of my face, Jessica

(Source: octopusmotor)

22nd Aug 2014

secret talent: finding and banging former porn stars.

seriously it’s happened twice already! this new guy has this incredible black on black Mustang and we’re at dinner when he just casually mentions that he did a lot of porn and that’s why he has a $50k car.

also big dicks obviously.

22nd Aug 2014
wire-man:

There were no survivors.

wire-man:

There were no survivors.

(Source: arcaneimages)

22nd Aug 2014
starslicer:

twewrgfwsfdfsdfdsfdafdsdsag

starslicer:

twewrgfwsfdfsdfdsfdafdsdsag

(Source: drizzydrehk)

22nd Aug 2014

seoulsister:

screwsociety:

lame-waves:

i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??

"I’M BLEEDING….. that’s okay i can still do it"

This and Charlie Sheen’s ice bucket challenge are the only ones I consider worth watching.

this is legitimately the only one I watched that was worthwhile